“Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.”

― Mary Oliver

I’d venture to guess that like me, you have faced a relationship or two you came to see as beyond healing. Perhaps you tried everything, then reached a point where giving up seemed to be the only next step. Your experience may have convinced you the other party just could not or would not change.

As a coach, I frequently hear similar narratives, so I know they are common. It is interesting that in reaching what appears to be a point of no return, we create an ending to the story (at least from our perspective). Sadly, this limits what can be, and we close the door to infinite possibilities.

I have a story like this, and it involves the father of my daughters. For nineteen years, we have not spoken. This has been painful to our daughters, who have led dual lives between their parents. Over the years, any attempts I made to move past old stories were met with distrust. About a year ago, I came to the realization that his distrust may very well have stemmed from areas I still needed to heal. It was my wish to reach a place in which I could, with all honesty, be open-hearted and in a position to receive.

In the meantime, two important things happened. The girls’ father decided to move to the Austin area, and not long after that, both girls announced their engagements. Clearly, we were moving into a new chapter as a family. Last fall, we approached the first celebration, and suddenly everything shifted. The old stories were dropped, and new stories began. We just became two middle-aged humans navigating this thing called life — who happened to share two really amazing daughters.

Just last week, we all joined together in our new home and shared Easter brunch. While everything appeared normal, in truth it was quite significant. As I joined my family members around our table, I soaked in every detail. There they all were — Joachim at my side, Sebastian complaining about upcoming finals, Meghan and her fiance, Justin, discussing last minute wedding to-dos, and Kate and her husband, Joe, sharing stories from their weekend getaway to Mexico. All pretty status quo — until I made it around the table to the places set for two additional members. And there sat the father of my daughters and his girlfriend, who we animatedly engaged, enjoying it all. To an outsider, it looked as if we had been doing this for years. But the truth is, this was the first holiday in nineteen years that my daughters did not have to make a choice in which part of their family they would be with. This year marked the start of a new way of being for all of us — a step toward wholeness and inclusion.

In my sharing of this very personal story, I encourage you to take your inner skeptic off duty and embrace the idea that all things are possible. Place your attention on yourself, and work on your own ability to remain open and unattached to the outcome. By doing this, we can allow for a resolution more magnificent than we could imagine. That has certainly been true in this situation.

Author and psychologist Mary Pipher shares this advice in her latest book, Women Rowing North: “We can’t change our pasts, but we can still change our stories. It isn’t just long histories that influence our lives; it’s also the narratives we tell ourselves about that history.”

I hope my experience might encourage you to consider stories you hold about painful relationships. Instead of writing your own end to the story, might you consider the possibilities of another narrative?

Our CSA box arrived filled to the brim with greens again — no surprise this time of year! In search of a new meal, I stumbled on this yummy recipe in the New York Times Cooking archive. Rice can be real comfort food for me, and this recipe also presents a perfect opportunity to incorporate a healthy portion of fresh greens. You”ll notice by the photo that I took the liberty to add a handful of pan roasted mushrooms and green beans to create a veggie-forward dish. 

Ingredients

• 2 cups long-grain rice, such as jasmine or basmati
• ½ cup unsweetened coconut flakes
• 1 tablespoon white or black sesame seeds
• 2 tablespoons coconut oil
• 1 scallion, thinly sliced, white and green parts separated
• 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
• ½ teaspoon black pepper, plus more as needed
• 1 (14-ounce) can full-fat coconut milk
• Pinch of saffron (allow this to bloom for 10 minutes in a small amount of boiling water)
• Kosher salt
• 1 medium bunch kale, spinach or Swiss chard (or a mix of all three)
• 1 lime

Directions

1. Rinse rice until water runs clear. Drain and set aside.
2. In a medium pot or Dutch oven, toast the coconut and sesame seeds over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally, until fragrant, 3 to 5 minutes (adjust heat as needed to prevent burning). Transfer to a small bowl. Wipe out the pot.
3. In the same pot, melt the coconut oil over medium-low heat. Add the scallion whites, turmeric and 1/2 teaspoon black pepper and cook, stirring, until aromatic and lightly toasted, 3 to 5 minutes.
4. Add the rice, coconut milk, saffron (if using) and 1 1/2 teaspoons salt. Fill the empty can of coconut milk with water and add it to the pot. Give the mixture a good stir to separate any lumps and bring to a boil over medium-high.
5. Once boiling, cover, turn the heat to low, and simmer for 10 minutes.
6. As rice cooks, remove and discard the tough stems of the leafy greens, if needed, and cut or tear the leaves into bite-size pieces. When the rice has cooked for 10 minutes, arrange the greens on top of the rice in an even layer and season well with salt and pepper. Cover, and cook until the rice is tender, 5 more minutes. Remove from heat and let sit, covered, 5 minutes.
7. As rice rests, zest the lime and cut it into wedges. Add 1/2 teaspoon zest to the coconut-sesame mixture, along with the scallion greens. Season with salt and pepper and stir to combine.
8. Gently stir the greens into the rice using a spatula or fork, season to taste with salt and pepper. Divide among bowls. Sprinkle the coconut mixture on top and serve with a lime wedge for squeezing over.

Enjoy!

Adapted from Ali Slagle’s One-Pot Tumeric Coconut Rice and Greens

Vegan chef Meera Sodha wins again when the weekend rolls around and I want to try something new. This wonderful soup is full of flavor and the perfect opportunity to use up any spring braising greens.

Here’s her recipe with my adaptations in parentheses.

Ingredients

• 4 tbsp rapeseed oil, plus a little extra to coat the noodles (or sunflower oil)
• 3 large white onions, peeled and finely sliced
• 3 garlic cloves, peeled and finely sliced
• ½ tsp salt
• 1 red chili, finely sliced
• 1½ liters vegetable stock
• 2 tbsp cooking sake (optional)
• 1½ tbsp light soy sauce (or coconut aminos)
• 1 tbsp brown miso paste
• Salt and black pepper
• 200 g ramen noodles (or rice pad thai noodles, gluten free and vegan)
• 200 g choi sum, cut into 6 cm pieces (or baby bok choy or chinese broccoli)
• Chili oil, to serve (optional)

Directions

In a large, heavy-bottomed saucepan, warm the oil over medium heat. Add the onions, garlic and salt to the pan. Stir to coat all veggies in oil, cooking 10 minutes until onions become slick and translucent.

Reduce heat to low and continue to cook 30 minutes, stirring every five minutes. The onions will gradually start to caramelize and color, eventually breaking down into a soft, sweet, caramel-colored paste.

Add the chili and stock to the pan, bring to a boil, then turn the heat down to a simmer and add sake, soy and miso, stirring well to combine. Taste, adjust the seasoning, then turn off the heat.

Cook the noodles according to the packet instructions, then drain, rinse under cold water and stir in a little oil to keep them from sticking together.

Just before serving, bring the broth up to a boil and drop in the choi sum and cook for a minute or two, until just tender.

Divide the noodles between four bowls and ladle the broth over the top, making sure to share out the greens evenly. Drizzle over the chili oil, if using, and serve.

Enjoy!

Adapted from The New Vegan.

Five months ago, longtime client Suzanne Rogers was struggling with her job as a higher ed housing administrator and stuck on how to move forward. She decided to commit to a series of eight coaching sessions as a practical, action-oriented step toward getting unstuck and making changes.

Since Suzanne and I had worked together for years, she trusted me to coach her through the process with care. Shifting from a client-practitioner relationship to a client-coach relationship took some warming up for Suzanne. She had become quite familiar with sharing a problem and looking to me for answers. Now as her coach, I looked to her to set the session agenda and collaborate on practical actions to practice that would move her toward her goal. I couldn’t be more delighted with the work Suzanne did, and you can see in her interview how pleased she is as well.

What were your personal goals with being coached?

I wanted to understand why I was so “stuck” and unable to see where I was not being authentic and so unhappy in my work life. I initially thought that a new job was going to be the gain.

How are you different now?

Through coaching, I see what it means for me to be my authentic self in every situation, be it professionally or personally. I have new tools, and confidence in using them, to navigate difficult work situations without so much fear. My resistance to change, despite my wanting it, was also holding me back. I have begun to invite change, and the inevitable death of all things, as the way toward rebirth and new possibilities.

How do you feel about yourself given these changes?

I feel a lightness and confidence that I have not had in years. I have a better understanding of what keeps me balanced and grounded. I like myself, feeling more inspired to try new things and be more creative.

What were your key learnings over the last five months?

So many!☺

• I learned that my perception of jobs and earning a living has been guided by a victim/hero mentality. This has caused me to isolate and not ask for help from my work community.
• I also learned that I am able to show up authentically; I can be myself in any situation.
• I was able to reveal some of my underlying narratives, which caused a duality in the way I view work.
• I also discovered patterns that lead me to the same difficult place in my job. I have new tools to minimize or prevent that from happening in the future.
• I learned that I am worthy of having the career of my choosing and capable of making good decisions for my future. I better appreciate my versatility and embrace my desire to NOT fit the mold in the corporate world.

What might bring you back for further coaching?

There are likely more stories I have running in the background that have yet to surface. I have not made a career change yet. As I explore new options, more coaching could be helpful.

Given your new skills or perspective, what are you doing differently?

I am making training videos for my job and started a podcast. I am exploring a career in coaching and ways to bring all my skills together to help others discover their next step.

What was it like to be coached?

Overall, it was wonderful, enlightening and empowering. At times it was incredibly uncomfortable and painful. I had to dig deep and admit where I was responsible for my situation, but also where I am empowered to change it.

Do you have advice for readers considering a coaching commitment?

Go for it! It is far more beneficial than I imagined. What you learn about yourself will take you on an inner journey, leading to a new perspective on your life.

Does the idea of being coached intrigue you? Read about why I coach. Would you like to know more about working together? Here is a great place to begin.

Here is a recipe to beat all boxed versions — and it’s easier than you think. Play around with the seasonings. Your options are endless!

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup brown or white rice flour
• 1/4 cup teff flour
• 1/2 cup almond flour
• 2 tbsp ground flax
• 2 tbsp hemp
• 2 tbsp sesame seeds
• 2 tbsp chia seeds
• 1/2 tsp kosher salt
• 1/2 tsp dried thyme
• 1 tsp dried rosemary
• scant 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 cup water (add by the teaspoon if more is needed)
• 1 tsp olive oil

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350°F and line a baking sheet with parchment.
2. In a large bowl, mix the dry ingredients. Add wet ingredients and mix well. Knead the dough until it comes together. Shape into a ball.
3. Place ball of dough on parchment paper or a non-stick mat. Roll out dough until it’s about 1/8 inch thick, or as thin as you can get it without ripping. With a pastry wheel or pizza slicer, score the dough for crackers.
4. Bake at 350°F for 18-20 minutes until slightly golden. You will want to bake long enough for the crackers to be crisp.
5. Cool on baking sheet for 10 minutes. Store in an air-tight container once fully cool.

Enjoy!

Recipe adapted from Oh She Glows.

What you have come to believe is normal during monthly menses may not be natural or necessary. After years working with women to address symptoms like painful cramping, lower back pain, leg discomfort, heavy flow, clotting, spotting and short or long cycles, it turns out these can all be resolved. This prompted my post a few years ago, What’s Normal?

The real cause

Hormone imbalance often takes the hit for these symptoms, but it’s not the root cause. The lack of harmony stems from adrenal fatigue and poor stool elimination. In fact, the monthly cleaning of the uterus and vagina can also serve as an overflow for weeks of less than optimal cleaning from the bowel and kidney. The patterns for this are set in adolescence with the onset of a menstrual cycle. In What Moms of Young Girls Need to Know, I explain the link between elimination and menstrual symptoms.  

Why resolving is important

While you can buy countless products today to suppress these symptoms, none resolves them. If they “go away,” why would it be important to solve them? It’s actually very important, because the root of the problem remains, and lingering inflammation can lead to more serious, chronic conditions. One of those conditions is endometriosis — you can read Margaret’s story here.

What you can do

You can use Gemmotherapy extracts to restore optimal elimination and support the adrenals, which resolves inflammation and allow hormones to harmonize. The extracts are to be taken three weeks each month, stopping during the menstrual flow. Cases in my practice have been resolved with either Silver Birch Sap, Blackthorn or Blueberry, supported by Black Currant for adrenal health.

In addition, a dairy-free diet is critical. While a completely plant-based diet will provide best results, simply removing all dairy products will be a significant help. Read about this successful case from my practice.

While making these changes and resolving inflammation, you can also use Raspberry and Silver Lime as an acute protocol for menstrual cramping.

Learn more

If you would like further information on Gemmotherapy extracts, you’ll want to read my Beginner’s Guide to Gemmotherapy. Specific information on dosing Gemmotherapy extracts can be found in my books, “An Introduction to Acute Care” and “Building Immunity in Babies and Children.”

For individualized support, I recommend you consult with a practitioner trained in Gemmotherapy to restore immunity, or consider working directly with me. Looking for a deeper understanding? Consider taking my next Foundations of Gemmotherapy series.

The information above is for educational purposes and not meant to replace the care and guidance of your health care practitioner.

Last night I sat on my screen porch engaged in a favorite activity of sketching out some connecting ideas on paper as darkness descended and a soft rain began to fall. Ruby sat perched on the window ledge, overseeing the deer grazing in our backyard. Strains of Joachim’s jazzy guitar chords mingled with the low hum of Sebastian’s power tools from the garage. This more than anything feels like home. We have each found a space to connect with ourselves.

While family gatherings, meals together, and visits from friends fill our newly built home with love, the fact we are finding ways here to each connect with our authentic selves is what makes it feel more like home each day.

At the end of August, I shared a post on The Meaning of Home. There I questioned the idea of home and whether it was an actual place or a feeling. I came to the conclusion that connecting with my sense of purpose led me to feel that I belonged. This I began to see as necessary for me to feel at home. And the last year, residing in several houses here and in Europe I discovered that sometimes the discovery of that connection was immediate and in other places, it developed over time. There was also a place or two where I was never able to connect. Those structures never felt like home and for me, there was always a faint sense of unease.

There is nothing but ease for me in this house that will be our Texas home for years to come, hosting family celebrations, welcoming friends, and providing refuge when the crazy world we live in is just too much. It will see Sebastian through his college years and through (I am certain) countless creative endeavors in his ever-expanding workshop. It will provide office space for Joachim on the days he can work from home and the privacy he appreciates for playing guitar.

As for me, I’m a bit of a nomad. I’ve come to love and feel a sense of belonging in several spots in my home. My light-filled office overlooking a tree filled lot is my designated space, But where I spend the delicious early hours of the morning when I have the entire place to myself fluctuates. On days my office is feeling more zen-like, and the piles of papers not distracting I find sitting on my cushion and contemplating my oak close to perfection. Bundling in a quilt on the screen porch, observing how it fills with light while taking in the building chorus of birdsong is also quite divine. And then there are some mornings that I don’t make it any further than the sofa with my cup of tea, Lucy, our Great Pyrenees, at my feet and Ruby nestled in my lap and that is heavenly. And those are just the spaces I enjoy before dawn, but that for me may just be the most important time of day. It’s time I can connect with myself and my purpose. It’s a time for meditation, for jotting my creative thoughts, and for being with whatever comes up.

So for those of you who so kindly ask if I am settling in the answer is yes. Yes in a way I am not sure I’ve ever allowed myself to settle anywhere else. It’s not driven by a frantic need to put everything in its place that I’ve experienced in earlier chapters of my life because I’ve learned it’s not really about the stuff. It’s about me and how I feel.

What about you and your sense of belonging? Do you have a place where you can connect with who you are and your purpose, even if its only for a few minutes each day? If your answer is yes, congratulations. If it’s no, why not? What steps can you take to make this happen?

Be sure to follow me @LaurenHubele on Instagram for updates.

I declare this to be THE best gluten-free vegan cookie recipe. And to be sure my claim was true I tested the recipe three times in the last two weeks 😉 It feels pretty much no-fail, and to make things even easier we tried it as a bar cookie recipe and it was fantastic. We can all thank Alexa Peduzzi for taking the time to test and share this on her Fooduzzi blog.

Here you go…

Ingredients

• • 1 and 1/2 cups almond flour – I used a mixed nut blend by Pamela’s that also worked well (spooned and leveled)
  • 3 Tbsp. coconut flour (spooned and leveled)
  • 3/4 tsp. baking soda
  • pinch salt
  • 2 Tbsp. melted coconut oil (make sure it isn’t hot!)
  • 3 Tbsp. peanut butter (or your favorite nut butter)
  • ¼ cup + 2 Tbsp. pure maple syrup
  • splash pure vanilla extract
  • about 2 and 1/2 oz. vegan dark chocolate, chopped or in chip form
  • coarse salt to top, optional

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Add almond flour, coconut flour, baking soda, and salt to a large bowl and whisk to combine. Be sure to remove any large almond flour lumps.
3. In a small bowl, add melted coconut oil, peanut butter, maple syrup, and vanilla, and mix to combine.
4. Add your wet ingredients to your dry, and mix. When it’s almost combined, add in your chopped chocolate. The batter will be stiff.
5. Measure out 2-Tbsp. of dough, and shape it into a thick, flat circle. These cookies won’t spread, so be sure to shape them how you want them to look. Place your cookies on a baking sheet, and put the sheet in the freezer for 10 minutes.
6. Alternatively, press into a rectangular baking dish and follow the same directions from freezer to oven.
7. Remove sheet from freezer and bake for 11 minutes if in cookie form and 15 if in a pan, until slightly golden brown. Sprinkle with coarse salt if desired.
8. Allow cookies to cool for 5 minutes on the baking sheet, then carefully move them to a cooling rack to cool completely. Store at room temperature.

Enjoy!